RUDE CUSTY GETS TOLD BY HARDWORKING MOM
Hey folks, Dr. Daddy's Girl here again.
I know it's been AGES, maybe even EONS, since my last post; being a full-time student saves me from delving too far into Retail Hell. But I'm home for fall break now, and through a conversation about getting a job after I graduate, I learned this AWESOME story from my mom, proving even more that my mom is a take-no-shit Retail Badass.
Once when my brother (remember Momma's Boy?) and I were very little (I was four, he was two, and Mom was preggers with my sister), Mommy had to take us to the doctor to get some immunity shots. So, of course, we were NOT happy campers. Poor Momma's Boy had to get a shot in the butt as well, so he was even less of a happy camper.
Luckily the promise of Schmendy's after the shots kept us from screaming ourselves into oblivion. By the time we got to the Schmendy's, we were no longer screaming and tantrum-ing, but we were still very cranky and probably a little more than uncooperative.
Mom managed to order our food without much issue and sit us down, but once I was sitting and Momma's Boy was in his high chair, apparently we started whining and being very fussy with our food. Hey, we were tired, full of holes, and I'm assuming it was hard for poor Momma's Boy to sit comfortably. Mom, preggers and all, bore it all and handled us to the best of her ability, apologizing to the staff and explaining our situation. They were very understanding.
However, we weren't the only ones in that Schmendy's. There was another crusty eating in, let's call her Hoity-Toity. From Mom's description, Hoit-Toity was a forty-fifty-something lady who looked way out of place in a Schmendy's (clean as it was). Mom says she reminded her of those judge-y, gossipy ladies you see in inspirational movies like The Blind Side.
Anyway, the moment Mom sits us all down to eat, Hoity-Toity starts giving us dirty looks and really loud irritated sighs, because of course it was TOTALLY my mother's fault that we were cranky and whiny.
This keeps up for a good while, with my mom ignoring her pretty effectively. The more Mom ignored her, the louder and more annoying Hoity-Toity got. Side-Note: We were the ONLY people in the Schmendy's, the place was EMPTY. It would've been very easy for Hoity to move to the far side of the place where we couldn't bother her, but NO, of course WE'RE the ones who should move because WE'RE making all the noise. Hoity stays put and glares at my mother until the back of her head starts to smoke.
Finally my mother cracks (probably wouldn't under normal situations, but being pregnant...), turns around in her chair and says "Is something bothering you?" to Hoity.
Hoity is taken aback at my mother's bluntness, and says "Yes, you shouldn't take your children in public if they're going to behave so horribly. Why don't you leave?"
Lady, you just unleashed a tidal wave of OH NO YOU DI'INT. See, my mom worked at McDouchebag's the entire time she was in school, and it made her into a strong woman who knows bullshit when she sees it. And what we were doing was NOT bullshit. We were not yelling or screaming. We were not misbehaving. We were sitting at our table, huffing and puffing. Not throwing things, not making a mess, just eating and sulking. If we were bothering you so badly, she could've just moved. And given the circumstances, we could've been behaving a lot worse.
Maybe a simple explanation of why we're huffy would've sufficed, but then this wouldn't be a good story.
My mother said "Well, you shouldn't be in public if you're going to be such a bitch. Why don't you just go to hell?"
Hoity-Toity is so blown away that she doesn't move for a good minute, before gathering her food and storming out in defeat. The second she's gone, the cashiers start clapping.
YAY, MOMMY! :-)
Honor thy mother, lest she rip you a new one,
--Dr. Daddy's Girl
Many children behave terribly in restaurants. I've been with some. {remembers the day JOD threw all the food she didn't like in a Japanese restaurant over her shoulder, where it pelted the couple in the booth behind her ~~ tempura green beans are what I recall}.
My AGD {awesome geek daughter} loved eating in restaurants as a baby. She thrived on people-watching.
She also loved to dip cheddar cheese strips into Earth's Best pureed green beans, so she was happy.
Without getting More-Waldorf-than-Thou, there are simple ways to keep little ones amused while waiting for a restaurant meal: we always has a diaper bag loaded with AGD's cloth dipes, and container of cheese strips, as well as quiet toys and dolls.
Between being amused by Stargazer {her dad} and me, her things, and people watching, she would wait patiently for our food.
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