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December 11, 2011

RANT ON CUSTOMER MANNERS: HAVING COMPASSION FOR THE PERSON SERVING YOU

Hey y’all, Nibbler here.

Hope you’re all surviving the pre-Christmas rushes! I found this picture on my tumblr feed and as a long serving retail slave (10 years and counting!) I thought I’d share my subsequent rant with you.

I’m going to step in here and defend people who work in retail.

You may not realize this, but the person selling you your yummy treats is forced to talk with you. There’s a good chance that they couldn’t care less if you were hungry. They get marked on how much and the way they speak to you. They face a disciplinary and a write up if they don’t say exactly the right thing. If the store has a rewards/credit card, they get marked on how many people they sign up. If they don’t sign up enough people, they face losing their source of income. They have to put up with rude asshole customers who scream and shout at them for the stupidest shit imaginable. The coupon is two months out of date? It’s your fucking fault, minimum wage-earning drone.

So, why do they put up with it? Look at the job market at the moment. What else is available? I’m sure that the person scanning your vegetables doesn’t want to be there for the rest of their lives, but unfortunately, not everyone will find a job in their chosen field. Not everyone will make it as an actor, photographer, writer, artist.

But everyone needs to eat, sleep, and provide for their families. So we take these crappy jobs and we work. These jobs are hard. You’ll be on your feet for long, unsociable hours, you’ll be lifting heavy items, you’ll be wearing an unflattering uniform, you’ll go to bed at night dreaming about item code 084035 not scanning. But you’ll do it, because the need to survive outweighs any pride you might have about a retail job not being good enough for you.

All I’m saying, would it hurt to have a tiny bit of compassion for the person serving you your Big Mac? They do not deserve abuse, they do not deserve to be talked down to, they do not deserve being threatened with being fired for petty things. They are people too.

--Nibbler

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Comments

I just had the sudden urge to print out this submission 5,000 times and hand it out to every human being that walks into the Bullseye.

Posted by: 2020k - RJ | December 11, 2011 at 08:46 AM

<3

Posted by: crankie cashier | December 11, 2011 at 08:54 AM

There is a cashier that is at my closest gas station. I love their donuts, so a lot of mornings, I will go get 2 donuts and something caffeinated. But everytime that psycho is there, she takes the whole cute, nice verbal response to something evil. One time I was there with my lady, and we got 3 donuts, one each and one to share. We set then down and she says,
"Three? That's a lot. Why not just share?"
Now I could be nice and assume she means with her. I take that route.
"Oh man, they are so good, do you want one too?"
She shakes her head with disgust and mutters something about not putting sugar in her body.

Excuse me?! Don't use your cashier power to make me feel insecure.

Grumble, grumble.

Long story short. Cute is cute. Go ahead and comment that I am getting a lot of food, where is the party? I can always make something up if it is all for me. But I'd rather hear silence than have you be uppity.

Posted by: BashfulBird | December 11, 2011 at 10:56 AM

*tear in eye*
It's beautiful.

I had a small bit of faith restored.
First time (as far as I remember) custy for me..... cursed me out for not getting her way (after I called my manager to come to back me up). Second interaction went better. No colorful language, but same manager backed me up again that I knew what I was talking about and although I could compromise some, not enough for the custy.

I guess I lost my poker face this holiday. It wears off a bit now and then and at least I have a back section I can hide and and mumble without custys hearing me (well, I hope I don't mumble that loud).

She came up and saw me. I guess my face looked "overwhelmed and predicting misery". I had a forboding sense of doom looming. She was fine. No sense of custy from her that day. And she even apologized for her previous treatment of me on our first interaction. Told her I was glad I did my best for her that day and even to come back if I could help her again. Oh my. My manager came in later and I told her that story. Still warned me to be careful, but glad that not all is lost in the holidays for human compassion.

Life gets all of us and I'm a total cynic sometimes, but at least we can hold on to a warm fuzzy feeling of hope and niceness sometimes while it lasts.

Posted by: Fellow Slave | December 11, 2011 at 10:59 AM

Compassion is fine, the problem with this was the weird passive-aggressive thing. I'm overweight and have gotten stuff like "Off the diet, are we?" -- That's every bit as bad as crusty-ness.

Posted by: Tim | December 11, 2011 at 11:06 AM

Of course there's going to be the odd slave on a twisted power trip to make everyone feel as cold and dead inside as they are, but I feel like we're all being painted with the same brush. We have a hard enough time with customers as it is, without people thinking it's okay to be this rude to people.

Posted by: Nibbler | December 11, 2011 at 01:33 PM

Eh, I don't know. I've worked years as a cashier, but I still find a lot of cashier banter annoying and stupid, particularly when it's related to the items I'm buying. I mean, yeah, cashiers have to be nice, act friendly, say their script lines like "will you be using your [store] charge card today?", etc, but I don't think any store would insist their employees make personal remarks about a customer's purchases.

I would, of course, never be rude in response to a cashier's banter, but personally I don't appreciate comments on the fact that I'm stocking up on 10 boxes of cereal. I just want to buy my stuff and get out. I would never be rude to a cashier, especially one trying to be friendly, but I just want to pay for my stuff and go, not explain what I'm going to cook with the 20 cans of beans I'm purchasing.

Posted by: JBee | December 11, 2011 at 04:13 PM

Even when I find it annoying (which is most of the time due to the way I'm wired) I try to play along, to give them a little bit of escape from the drudgery and to overcome the passive hostility problem. Every time we take offence and hold a grudge for something said to us, we take away a little piece of the speaker's spirit, for want of a better word. I'm sorry for the mystical phrasing, it's late.

What I'm trying to say is, a negative response, even when it's passive and silent, causes resentment in both parties, and resentment breeds anger and aggressive behaviour down the line. At its most benign it comes out as a reduced ability to empathise; at its worst it manifests as entitled "ME ME ME" offence at everything in sight. It's a gradual descent from normal person to crusty bitch but it nearly always begins because the crusty held on to a perceived insult or annoyance at some point, then kept holding on to each one that followed.

That used to be me. It still is me to some degree; I am easily angered, very aggressive and I tend to see innocent words as deliberate insults because I've spent much of my life practically training myself to be that way without realising it, due to the way I was treated at a younger age. My solution is to just let it go. People rarely mean to be insulting or offensive, and there's rarely much to gain by immediately reacting to perceived insults except a souring of relationships. When the time is appropriate, the topic can be raised, but until then it's healthier to just let it go.

Would it hurt to just play along and let it slide? The world would be a much calmer, happier place.

Posted by: Archonix | December 11, 2011 at 05:14 PM

I work as a cashier and we try to have conversations with people because if we don't, we would go insane. Try ringing one person after another, after another, after another for 8 hours straight! I work for a bookstore and I always like to comment positively on the purchase that they are making. That's how we get regulars....people like to strike conversations about the books that we are currently reading or what we have already read. Plus it gives them ideas on what they could read next. Suggestions are always welcomed. If a customer comments on a book, a lot of times I will check it out to see if it's something that I would be interested in also.
If a customer is having a bad day, a lot of times I am able to cheer them up a little bit or at least get them smiling. I feel like a psychologist sometimes.

Posted by: Shoedevil | December 11, 2011 at 05:28 PM

I don't like when cashiers comment on my purchases either.
I wouldn't tell them off for it, but it does annoy me.
As JBee said, all you have to do to make me happy is scan my purchases. Some chit-chat is fine even, but I don't want 'good natured' teasing about my purchases or to have to explain what I'm going to do with them, because that always makes me want to answer "I'm going to mind my own business with them. You should try it some time!"

Posted by: Chicajojobe | December 11, 2011 at 05:53 PM

I have to agree with Tim - I've had the same thing happen to me while buying gifts for other people (chocolate, mostly). Personal remarks are NOT okay, even if you're being forced to talk with us. A 'how is your day' and idle chitchat around that, or the weather (or lack thereof), or the upcoming weekend/holiday is fine. Remarking on what I'm buying (especially insinuating that I'm being a pig) is not.

I'll be smiley and polite to a cashier even when I'm feeling like hell, but the minute they take it to a personal level, the smile drops and so does the chat.

Posted by: Aussie_Gal | December 12, 2011 at 04:47 AM

There used to be a guy at my local PetSmart that was basically nice but would constantly take our little interactions to a really weird level. He was sort of a big guy, with unnecessarily ratty facial hair and kind of mossy teeth, you know? And every time I would try to give him my telephone number to use my rewards card, he'd go, "No thanks, I already have one!" or "I hope you aren't hitting on me because I'm not available, har har!" I never really knew what to say to that. Good for you, brother? I came in here to buy cat food, not to fuel your little strange fantasy.

Posted by: Evie | December 12, 2011 at 08:08 AM

If you don't like cashier banner, there's 2 words for you. (Or one?)

Self-check.

Posted by: Hellbound Alleee | December 12, 2011 at 08:17 AM

@ Hellbound Alleee: It's BANTER, not BANNER. And, not every store you go into has self check. That's only grocery dear.

Posted by: Bizhub Bitch | December 12, 2011 at 10:39 AM

ok, 2 things. first, i actually think what the cashier in the picture said was a bit rude. why not say something like "oh, oreos. i love oreos!" or something like that. that being said, the response was completely uncalled for. i would've just smiled and said yeah. second, i have to disagree with the poster. i know a lot of retail slaves hate working retail and would rather be doing something else but not everyone feels that way. that cashier that's scanning your produce might actually love being a cashier and not want to do anything else. my grandma worked retail her entire life and absolutely loved it. she loved interacting with customers and helping them out. i also worked with people at a grocery store who loved it and were not interested in doing anything else.

Posted by: Virgo7929 | December 12, 2011 at 04:21 PM

@Virgo: Most people aren't happy with retail though. They're seriously there because it's all that's available. You can be happy with your job, sure, but most want something better than drudge-drudge-minimum-wage-retail. Also... how was that rude? It was an innocent comment, I certainly wouldn't have taken offence!

Also so many people commenting here seem to have completely MISSED THE POINT. The POINT of this was to not get bitchy when the cashier tries to have some HUMAN INTERACTION with you, and to have some COMPASSION with the retail slave. I HATE it when people go and point out something opposite from what the poster is trying to say. YES there are rude retail slaves, BUT what you come across as saying is that BECAUSE of those rude ones, NO ONE ELSE deserves your respect and compassion. No, seriously. That's what it comes across like sounding.

Posted by: Kat | December 12, 2011 at 09:48 PM

I love bantering with the other retail grunts, usually for the same reasons Shoedevil likes bantering with his custys. If I can get them to smile, yay!

However, I do object when someone (regardless of retail status) insists that something is true about myself when I've pointed out that it's not. ;) Otherwise, feel free to tease me-I like self deprecating humor.

Posted by: LilLoudMouse | December 12, 2011 at 09:57 PM

I will try and make small talk if I think the customer's up for it. Sometimes they don't talk back and life goes on. Sometimes they do and I get a little bit of human interaction outside of "your total is $6.66, have a craptacular day." I get more conversations at Christmas because I get to ask what people are baking or who they're having over for turkey. I like baking, I'm going to ask you about it, deal with it.

The only thing I will never make small talk about is party trays. There was an incident when another cashier asked if a customer was having a big party because she was buying multiple trays. The customer burst into tears. She was buying them for a funeral. Now no one at the store says a word about party trays unless a birthday cake is bought at the same time.

Posted by: Green Grin | December 12, 2011 at 11:46 PM

What a sweet little Nibbler!
I'm sure you don't mean to destroy the world. I'm eating an apple, but all I can think about is Violet Beauregard.
I'm seconding everyone's comments and posting to my blog.

Posted by: mikey likes it! | 

This is so freaking weird, and OCD {CDO?}.
I've heard some German people are unduly fascinated by poo, to the extent, I've read, of designing toilets with little shelves for the poo to land on for further inspection.  
And what's with the shiny plastic shovels with which to collect the output.
Reminds me of The Happy Hooker's story of being made to eat crap off the Delft {?} china plate of her birth place.
Don't make me tell you the story of the Sly Park loo videographer.