Q. Two Wedding Rings: I married in my early 20s and had two kids. Their father and I are now divorced, and we haven't heard from him in more than a decade. I know this is unusual, but I've worn my wedding ring even after the divorce. It's a reminder of the short period of happiness I had, my two great kids who resulted from my marriage, and the many life lessons I learnt from both the marriage and divorce. I am now about to embark on my second marriage in my 40s and I want to continue wearing my ring. My fiance doesn't understand this and thinks I should take it off. He isn't enthusiastic about the idea of me wearing two wedding bands on my fourth finger. We've had a lot of debates over this. He thinks I should respect his wishes, I think he should respect mine. Who should give way?
A: I'm wondering how someone who goes around wearing a wedding ring succeeded in the dating pool. Normally a wedding ring sends a flashing "Do Not Enter" message—except to those looking for flings with married people. Of course you love the children that came from your failed marriage. But since your ex has disappeared from their lives, and apparently has neglected to even send a check to help raise them, your time with him is not an interlude worth permanently memorializing on your left hand. Marriage in this country is a one-at-a-time proposition. I agree with your intended that it's bizarre and undermining for you to continue to wear the ring of the rat who took off years ago. Stash the old ring in the sock drawer and consecrate your new marriage with his gold band.
No comments:
Post a Comment