December 09, 2011
COUNTRY CLUB HELL: ASSHOLE CUSTY GETS TASTY COMEUPPANCE
Hey, RHU! Long time reader, first time listener, blah, blah, blah ;)
I wanted to post this because I haven't really seen anything on this site having to do with this area of "retail." From the ages of 14-21, I worked at a country club, first as a caddy and then as a bag staff employee.
I absolutely LOVED this job. It was seriously the greatest thing that could have happened to me at that age. I bought my own car when I was 16, it kept me out of trouble, and I made a lot of contacts that I still maintain to this day.
However, with all the great things, also came some bad (and usually funny) things. I'm here to share with all of you the ups and downs of working at a country club. Hopefully you guys find these entertaining and funny. I also have worked my fair share of retail, and I still work retail part time to this day (along with a "normal" 7-3 job.) I actually love my current retail job (probably because I'm only there part time,) but I'll definitely keep you guys posted if anything super-crazy happens!
Oh, and by the way, I'll be henceforth known as BallShagger (sounds naughty, but it is actually golf-course related.)
/preface over
Okay, now to the story :) When you think of a country club member, what do you think? A crotchety, tight-ass, cheap old man? Probably. However, this stereotype is often not accurate. 95% of the members at this particular club were extremely cool, nice, generous, and a general pleasure to be around. The other 5% were the stereotype, though. The subject of this story, however, was (and still is) a complete asshole. He deserved what happened to him in this story. This was actually relayed to me by my friend Phil, who also worked at the country club, but it's still hilarious.
So, Phil was caddying for this particular member, who will be henceforth known as Steve. Steve apparently became thirsty at some point during his round of golf, and asked Phil to fetch him a refill of his water. Okay, no problem...right?
Well, off to a bit of a sidetrack. There are water fountains scattered on various holes of this course (henceforth known as Riverside Country Club, or RCC.) However, these water fountains would seem to be out for repair constantly, leaving nothing but pipes where the water fountains SHOULD be.
On another sidetrack, most golf courses have water hazards, which golfers like to avoid. Our particular water hazards had an artificial blue dye added to it, along with a shitload of algae. Moral of story: this was some nasty ass water. You're probably wondering why I'm talking about water fountains and water hazards on a golf course, but it will soon become painfully clear.
Back to Phil and Steve; they were on Hole #7 when Steve requested a refill of his water. Now, normally, there is a water fountain at the tee box of Hole #7. Was there one that day? Of course not. For some reason, it was gone. Luckily for Phil, there was a water hazard at the end of Hole #6 (which is adjacent to Hole #7.) So he, in his great knowledge, decided to fill the cup at the hazard at the water hazard of Hole #6, instead of risking a barrage of demeaning words of Steve for having returned with no water. Steve, though, was blissfully unaware of the situation and proceeded to imbibe the water that Phil gathered at the hazard.
Apparently, Steve immediately spit out the nasty-ass water and threw the cup in the garbage, guessing that the water was from the (missing) fountain at Hole #7. He just ingested water that contained organisms that probably haven't even been discovered yet.
Like I said, this guy is an asshole. Hopefully he caught some disease from drinking that horrible water.
Well, that's it for this story. I usually use this story as sort of an icebreaker. Don't worry, though, I have plenty of stories of asshole members, lazy-ass coworkers, a seemingly omniscient boss, and much more.
Thanks for reading!
Until next time!
--Ball Shagger
Comments
Maybe this will put things into perspective:
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"What's lurking: West Nile virus
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"What's lurking: West Nile virus
The water hazard at your golf course is also a West Nile hazard; it's where mosquitoes that carry the virus buzz around and breed. And while West Nile fever typically affects older, immune-compromised individuals, a newly identified condition called West Nile poliomyelitis can hit healthy adults in their 30s and 40s.
"It's a very serious neuroinvasive disease that attacks the cells in the spinal cord that are responsible for motor strength and activity," says Taylor Harrison, M.D., a professor of neurology at Emory University. "Some people regain movement of their limbs; others don't recover as well."
How to beat it: Simple: Steer clear of the drink. Also, "if the course is wet, it's a good idea to stay off the golf-cart path," says Gilbert Waldbauer, Ph.D., a professor emeritus of entomology at the University of Illinois and the author of A Walk around the Pond: Insects in and over the Water. "The puddles that form in the tracks are filled with stagnant water where larvae develop."
He also suggests a midmorning tee time: "They're out in full force at dusk and dawn." To further shield yourself from skeeters, wear Buzz Off pants and shirts, apparel that's been treated with an EPA-approved insect repellent called permethrin."
If it wasn't done on purpose, I'm really curious to know why the hell would anyone think of using a water hazard water as something you'd drink?
This is a lot like BBs story about the giving regular instead of decaf, and, while I don't agree with that on principle, it was most likely harmless. This, however, is borderline poisoning. The microorganisms could possibly cause serious illness depending on what was in the water which you have no way of knowing, and there's the chemicals to consider too. Since you don't know exactly what they are you have no idea how they'd affect someone who drank them!
This isn't karmic retribution. It isn't even an eye for an eye situation since Steve didn't trick Phil into taking a sip of water than isn't supposed to be drank.