CHECKOUT LANE DRAMA: SLIMY HELLSPAWN ENCOUNTER
Hey there folks, it's Knitty Kitty with a little more Stupor-Valued love.
First off, I've had my share of hellspawn. But this one really takes the cake.
A woman brings her cart up to my checkstand, and her hellspawn is standing in the cart, as if he's "conquering" something. It's important to note that he is slurping down a purple "drinkable yogurt" with an animal brand.
So chalking it up to bad parenting, I quickly try to run through her groceries (to end my suffering quicker). Then it touches me. Worse than chicken slime, hellspawn drool, or even milk. Purple fruit-scented goo.
On all of her groceries.
Because her hellspawn, in his conquering stance, had been STOMPING THE EVERLOVING FUCK out of all of her groceries. Which was, of course, my fault, because I shouldn't "manhandle" everything.
So I get past all of this, and start loading the bags onto the automated lazy susan we have. (It can be operated by a button on the custy's side and on my own side, with no means of disabling custy-side.
The hellspawn launches himself from the cart, and runs to the lazy Susan as I fill it with his mom's bags. He smashes himself against that button, sending his mother's bags in a drunken circle, scattering her groceries everywhere (yet again, somehow my fault, because I should be able to stop the carousel from my side).
I was so gleeful to be rid of her. ;-;
On top of that, I got to overhear "Stupid McSoupy" try to give the evening manager hell.
She returned a bag of Chumpy Soops that she'd bought claiming they were out of date, because the dates were "October" and "November" on the cups. Not realizing that the year printed on them was 2012. *eyeroll*
So when the front desk person calmly told her that the soups were in fact in-date, the woman changed to defensive mode, and went on a tirade about how her husband was horribly ill from consuming the "out of date" soups.
Peace, paws, and yarn <3
--Knitty Kitty
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